Are you a “Personal Space” invader? Learn how to avoid that high score.

7 min readJul 7, 2023

Although many of us may have returned to the semblance of norm in the workplace, one of the things we’ve learned is that some of the old practices should be addressed and re-evaluated. One of these practices is the understanding and implementation of personal space.

Does someone in the cubicle next to you chew their food loudly or eat a particularly pungent sandwich of, say, sardines and Limburger cheese? Is there someone across the office who makes eye contact with you, causing you to squirm and sweat? Maybe you just got up to get some water from the water cooler and two people are engaged in an explicit conversation that you deem inappropriate. Or perhaps you wonder why a co-worker insists on grabbing your shoulder while he or she leans over it to read something off of your monitor.

These situations — and countless others — often make us feel very uncomfortable. They are viewed as infringements of personal space; a matter of great importance to many, especially in the uncertain aftermath of recent pandemics and the subsequent emphasis on social distancing.

While proximity encounters can be stressful in public places, the feelings are exasperated in the workplace where the affray is caused not by a random stranger you will probably never see again, but by someone you may have to interact with on a daily basis.

So how do we let others know our comfort zones? Perhaps more importantly, how do we recognize and identify them within others so we don’t pull the same faux pas? Before we can answer this, we need to know what, exactly, personal space is.

What is Personal Space?

As a quick definition, personal space is any physical distance between one person and another. Simple as that seems, it goes far beyond simply encroaching on an individual’s comfort zones. It is a legitimate grievance backed by science; a real issue that can greatly affect our emotional state and ability to perform.

Psychologists such as the British researchers Lewis et al. use proxemics (a term coined by Edward T. Hall in 1963, meaning the study of the use of space and the effects that population density has on behaviour, communication, and social interaction) as a base to correlate how we all unconsciously apply these variables to seek comfort in social situations.

These variables that psychologists base their postulations on are: gender (including gender role), racial and cultural occurrences, age, personal preferences & inclinations, interpersonal relationships (including feelings and social status), room density and population, personality types (introvert or extravert), the topics being discussed in a given conversation, the surrounding environment (indoors vs. outdoors, lighting, vertical space, etc.), and finally, the context of the situation/encounter (noise pollution, etc.)

When encompassing these stated variables, psychologists conclude that personal space is most often expressed through non-verbal communication as a means to convey comfort or discomfort in a given social situation. Generally, the more you know someone and feel a familiarity with them, the less invasive their encroachment of your personal space will feel.

Another way to think of personal space is as a predestined “me” space that makes all of us feel more comfortable, productive and confident. It’s kind of like that old video game Space Invaders, where shields and weapons keep the aliens at bay and away from your ship.

Now let’s look at variations to determine where one should be drawing the line between accepted social behaviour and invasive actions:

Types of Personal Space

Personal space can be categorized into four types. According to psychological studies, the general concurrence is as follows:

Intimate Space — this is usually contained to spouses, partners and others with high levels of comfort and attachment. The distance range is 5–15 inches and examples of intimate space include hugging, kissing, and myriad varieties of touching.
Personal Space — this includes family and close friends and involves a little more distancing than that of intimate spacing, around 15 to 45 inches apart.
Social Distance Space — this still pandemicly hot button topic generally refers to distancing from each individual at around 3 to 11 feet apart. Examples of this are meeting casual acquaintances or encountering strangers in public.
Public Space — Ranging from 11 to 24 feet apart, an example of this is the distance between the speaker and the audience at public speaking events.

Obviously, these idyllic categories rarely fit into real-world situations, especially in the workplace where office space clashes with productivity. There are just too many intangible locations and situations that are beyond our control.

That’s why understanding the importance of personal space is important.

Why is Personal Space Important?

Go ahead and ask yourself how you feel when someone in front of you leans their seat back in an airplane, or hogs the shared armrest. How much does it bother you when you’re studying in a library and someone is blasting tunes from their cell phone two desks away? How does walking through a congested subway station affect the number of times you pat your back pocket to see if your wallet is still there? While these situations may be viewed as “par for the course” in our crowded, hustle & bustle world, and therefore almost unavoidable (to some extent), can the same be said for the workplace?

For many of us, a good portion of our week is once again spent in work/office situations. It can be stressful enough as you see the to-do memos pile up on your desk or in your inbox. The last thing one needs is the added discomfort of someone trespassing in one’s personal safe space. Having that feeling of “safe workplace space” has tangible benefits; the main ones being:

Stress reduction — without the worry of space infringements, stress is diminished, allowing mental energy to be distributed to other tasks at hand unencumbered.
Helps maintain focus — a direct result of stress reduction.
Ensures no “boundary” abuse — knowing you are safe within your boundaries, such as physical, audio, visual and mental parameters, can help create a stable work environment.
Overall well-being — feeling good about yourself leads to a positive outlook, which is healthy for the mind and body.
Health concerns — perhaps the most obvious benefit, but also the one that can cause unfounded discomfort, feeling confident that you won’t be coughed on or touched by someone who doesn’t wash their hands is reassuring.

So how do we achieve this?

How does one maintain personal space at work?

There is no cut n’ paste method here to follow verbatim, unfortunately. Experience with both reading body language and overall social interaction — while at work and in public — will be your best barometer for determining what truly makes you and others feel comfortable within the desired personal space at work.

Some Tips for You:

Know and define your boundaries and,
Convey said boundaries to others, with respect and patience.
Establish and practice rules of etiquette such as stifling bodily functions, chewing with your mouth closed, and talking unnecessarily loud on the phone.
Avoid eye contact when possible if uncomfortable. Obviously, this can be difficult when in a one-on-one meeting or similar situations, but if it is not necessary for work reasons and it makes you feel more comfortable, do it in appropriate situations.
Cease vocalization (ie. don’t engage in an argument) when possible to avoid physical confrontation. Sometimes people get just as upset reacting to your attribution of their actions.
Expand your sense of humour? Life needs to be taken with a grain of salt sometimes.

Some Tips for Others:

When unsure, listen for and don’t be afraid to ask if you are infringing on one’s space. Do so in a tactful, meek and respectful manner.
Understand personal space needs and be as diligent as possible to adhere to them.
What may seem like harmless flirtation with good intent to you may be viewed as crossing sexual boundaries to others. And vice-versa.
Separate the personal from the professional. Not everyone wants to hear what happened to you on your way home last night. If they ask, it’s fair game, but still be cognizant of your audience and your established relationship.
Know that HR is always an option, but try to resolve the issue you’re having one-on-one before it grows to the point that it affects your productivity.
Make sure it’s an actual invasion of your personal space and not some misinterpreted overtone from pre-conception, religion, stance or belief that is counter to yours.
Never be afraid to apologize, and mean it!

So now what?

Personal space is arguably one of the most important personal boundaries a person has. Respecting each other’s personal space is not only important for health purposes, but also to ensure people feel safe and respected.

Understanding everyone’s definition of personal space can be very challenging as feelings, social comfort levels and upbringings differ from person to person, place-to-place and culture to culture. Unintentional breaches can be awkward, uncomfortable, and in some extremes even dangerous. Respecting and adhering to this is not a static template, but a smorgasbord of opinions and emotions. Unlike Emerson’s view, in this case it’s the journey as well as the destination that matters.

But be assured that you do not have to figure this out all on your own, there is help! Much like how a coach and a personal trainer can bring out the best in an athlete, professional guidance can also help maximize how to understand and implement proper personal space objectives and social distance etiquette.